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THE IMF

The only thing the team can do is use Sandy's emergency telephone number and give the code:

This is Global Imports, how may I direct your call?

Green Knight, this is the Lady of the Lake. My horse has thrown a shoe?

Thank you Mr Lake, please remain where you are and one of our account managers will be in touch directly.

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Until now our players have never met anyone from the wider IMF organisation, but rapidly teams of staff in blue uniforms begin to arrive. Security first, then medical, then

scientists with handheld scanners and clipboards. They check over the house, administer First Aid, clear bodies and throw around a lot of techno-babble and strange idioms. Players are scanned, questioned and asked to stay where they are as an Operations Base is being set up in the dining room.

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Gathering everyone together at 1am, the Security Commander lays out in a matter-of-fact way that their initial investigation suggests that Stepanov used ‘a variation on the de Marigney method’ to remove the diamond from the current timestream. Luckily, this

isn’t the first time the IMF have had to deal with ‘dimensional concealment’ and have an expert team who will be arriving in the morning to continue the mission. He asks the current team to please stay overnight so they

can help brief the new team tomorrow and suggest they all now get some sleep.

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The IMF are split into teams – each with their own strange names and idioms.  The two Gardeners (always addressed as ‘Sir’) speak in terms of pruning, watering, roots and whether something would be happier in sandy soil. The Head Gardener prefers flower arranging in The Potting Shed, while the Under Gardener tends to discuss compost when speaking to technical colleagues.

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The security team are known as Housekeeping and talk in terms of sweeping, scouring, scrubbing, having a deep clean or a light dust. Tidy and neat, neat and tidy. Elbow grease, clean as a whistle, carpet beating and getting things so you can see your face in them or eat your dinner off them.

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A group calling themselves the Decorators speak as if they are putting on a play – upstage, downstage, waiting in the wings, makeup and wardrobe, dressing rooms, overture and beginners, stage fright, cues, prompts, break a leg, it’ll be alright on the night...

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All psychiatric testing and medical treatment is based around colours and the patient's perception of colour...

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